There is a quote attributed to a Chinese writer by the name of Zhuangzi, and it goes like this: “Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man.” As confusing as the quote may be, I’ve always appreciated the idea. It leads me to ask myself a related question: Is my present experience more real or those that came before? In one sense, we only exist in the moment, but in another sense every moment is a product of all the moments that preceded it. This leads me to my question for those who might read this: What is most real to you – now or then?

Just a couple of days ago, ice coated the insides of the windows of our North Carolina mountain cabin. A chill breeze whistled around the edges of our winter clothes as we got ready to leave. Then last night as we pulled into our driveway here in Cape Canaveral, the temperature was seventy-two and my tee shirt felt completely adequate. In a compressed amount of time, my perception of reality had changed dramatically. When I was in the freezing cold, it was hard to even imagine our home in Florida as a real place, and now that I have returned, our mountain home seems hardly more than a frigid memory.

A little over a year ago I wrote a song about a trip Patty and I made to Los Angeles. As I was on the flight back from LA, it seemed like the moment we shared 30,000 feet above the surface of the earth contained the essence of everything – our past, our present, and our future. I’d like to quote a stanza and the closing:

Thirty thousand feet
I’m about to fall asleep
Strange how quickly we become
Numb to the future and to the past

Only now Can last…. (From “Only Now” by Robert L. Tatum)

The song has a beautiful trumpet part that makes me feel like I am flying again in the clear skies over the central United States – maybe like a butterfly who dreams he is a man or a man who dreams he is a butterfly.

As this Thanksgiving week closes I have so much to be thankful for – as my memory allows me to trace my steps from early childhood, to fathering my blessed children, to my present home with my loving wife, to the experience of sacred and secular songs that envelop all. And though my memory covers many years, my thankfulness is now!

By the way, those of you who are friends of Naomi Tatum or who would like to be, check out her fabulous Thanksgiving reflection on her Facebook Page. Oh what gifts!

Sound Traveler has a number of engagements this week. Check out our schedule, and let’s share a great season together.

3 Comments to “SongTravelin’: 11/29/2010 – If That was Then, What is Now?”

• November 29, 2010 at 10:17 am
  Jacques says:

  Perception and reality cannot be definitively separated. Without perception, reality has no meaning. Does something exist which cannot be perceived? Whether it can or cannot, it doesn’t matter — nothing matters which cannot be perceived at some level by some entity. In light of that, I think the present is the only reality that we have any assurance of to any significant degree.
• November 29, 2010 at 10:33 am
  Kay says:

  I love the title of this blog. And the content seems particularly pertinent to me today, as I hover between the realm of memory and reality.
• November 29, 2010 at 7:06 pm
  Heather says:

  Thanks so much for sharing your experiences and your insight, Bob. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to get my words and thoughts together tonight to add anything to your commentary, but I really did enjoy reading it, as the relationship between memories and how “real” they are intrigues me. And, I also know that surreal feeling of going from a previous home base in a wintry state, back to sunny, humid FL, in a relatively short period of time, and it always, always seems to be an odd transition.